So many things are now out of bounds,
The pub, the cinema and even playgrounds.
We stay at home and stock up on flour,
And watch the time pass, hour by hour.
We stand and clap at 8 o clock,
To talk to another human is quite a shock.
One day soon we will meet once more,
Hopefully by then I can fit through my door.
I’ve eaten my weight in chocolate and crap,
And relish in an afternoon nap.
We watch home videos and run 3 miles,
We even start fights in shopping aisles.
How will we return to normal life?
For some, it is, to get a new wife.
Divorce rates will be on the rise,
As will orders of McDonalds French fries.
Oh lockdown, why you treat us so cruel,
We can’t even go to the local swimming pool.
We have online workouts and PE with Joe Wicks,
Yet, I’m gorging out on brownie mix.
I’ve put on 10 pounds and can’t fit in my jeans
But all I have been eating is chocolate and greens.
I’ve read seven books and re-watched Buffy,
On video calls I always look scruffy.
Oh lockdown, when you end, I will miss you so,
But at least I’ll be able to visit Bordeaux.
I can’t wait to get out and see my mum,
Hopefully she won’t comment on my massive bum.